So it turns out that I was more of an impairment to my playing Super Smash Brothers Melee than the Folklore Archive of Doom was.
Knowing that they would ship separately, I pre-ordered Super Monkey Ball and Super Smash Brothers Melee in the same order back in the middle of October. Super Monkey Ball shipped without a hitch back in early November, and I had it a week and a half before I got my Gamecube.
Super Smash Brothers Melee, on the other hand... It should have shipped on Monday, but I got no word from ebgames. On Tuesday, I woke up to the sound of my roommate playing the copy of Pikmin he'd ordered, so I checked my email but saw no word on Melee. Looking at my order status on ebgames' site, it said my order was "On Hold." A few hours later, I got an email saying that there had been a problem processing my order, and that I should call them to straighten things out.
So I called them, and all I was told was that my card had been declined. This worried me, since I just use my debit card as a credit card, and I was suddenly concerned that maybe many more checks than I'd expected had been cashed and I was out of money. I had them cancel the order so that I could figure out what was wrong. If I was out of money, the game could wait until I got paid on Friday.
I called Bank of America, and after anxiously listening to their Patriot Songs CD for 20 minutes while on hold, I was told "Well, your card is activated, you have money in your account, no other charges were incurred on the same day... I'm not really sure why it was declined... Maybe you mistyped the expiration date?"
So I looked at my receipt, and there, plain as day, was the expiration date listed as "11/01" (as opposed to the correct 11/02). Which explained why Super Monkey Ball shipped fine in November of '01, yet Super Smash Brothers Melee got gummed up in December of '01.
Of course, I was a little taken aback that my Super Monkey Ball order had gone through at all with the incorrect expiration date. Apparently, they only check that the expiration date hasn't passed yet. I always assumed that they used the expiration date as a sort of checksum, to double verify the credit card information. And I wish it were used that way, too.
So I placed a new Super Smash Brothers Melee order on Tuesday night, and it shipped on Wednesday, and I got it on Thursday.
I suppose it's possible that I subconsciously mistyped the expiration date, knowing deep down that I'd be getting this most-wanted game right when I had 80 other things to be doing. And hey, guess what? It sure was effective.